Hi, my name is Anne and I'm a chronic over-eater.

Thanks Sarah!  It takes a village, or something like that. 

I think I've been in total denial about my 30 pound weight gain.  Yes, in just about 2 years, I have managed to put on 30 frickin' pounds.  I'd like to blame my anti-anxiety meds, but I'm pretty sure it's the Nachos Navidad.  Even when it's not Christmas, I still pull into the drive thru at Taco Johns and order the Nachos Navidad.  Then I go home and drink 3 cans of Mountain Dew...the sweet, sweet nectar of the Gods. 

I was at the doctor's office last week and stepped on the dreaded scale.  I kinda chuckled to myself as I thought "Hmm, I didn't even weigh this much at 42 weeks prego."  But I thought that I was lookin' good as I can finally fill out a pair of jeans in the ass.  Never mind that they're size 16.  What?  I have long legs.  (You know, they make these jeans in one of those countries that Kady's been to in the last year, and their measurements are WAY off.)  AND Stacy and Clinton on What Not to Wear always preach to never get all hung up about the size on the label.

Then Brian set up his new trail cam in the house just to see how it all would work.  I had seen it on the counter, but didn't realize it was on.  So I'm walking around in front of it all afternoon not realizing that I was on candid camera.  He plays it back for me, and HOLY MOTHER OF MARY....OMG.   It was not good.

Time to get serious.  I've done the WW thing, and it did work the first time.  The 2nd and 3rd time, I just couldn't stay motivated and I failed miserably.  I need support group, or a drill Sergeant...  I'm not really in the mood to join a health club as I prefer to work out in the privacy (and cleanliness) of my own home (and shower).  I'm looking into getting a Bowflex Treadclimber maybe.  I just have to find $3000 somewhere.  In the mean time, my regular treadmill will have to do.  I also have Beto (Zumba!) and Jillian Michaels in my basement ready to go whenever I want them.  I just have to go DOWN there.  The weird thing is that I enjoy exercising.  I sort of dread it at first, but after I feel so good.  Those natural endorphins are awesome.  But I also feel like I have so many other things to do in my 6 hours of "free" time...I feel guilty if I don't attack that "to-do" list first everyday.  Does anyone else out there feel me on that??   

Somebody says "Hey, what'cha do all day?"
Me:  Well, I worked out.
Somebody:  "Fft, must be nice..."

It sounds so much better if I say "Well, after I dropped Corine off at school, I did the shopping, then I walked the dog and took him to the groomer, then I volunteered 2 hours of my time reading with k-garteners, came home and vacuumed, dusted, scrubbed the toilets, started the 4th load of laundry of the day, picked Corine up from school, gave her a snack that we both sort of agreed upon, helped her with her homework, played a game with her, started dinner...."

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I know what I have to do, I just don't really want to do it.  I hate meal planning.  Veggies and fruit are ok, but I'd much rather have chips and dip.  With a Snickers afterward.  Then a can of pop.   My hubby and daughter are seriously picky eaters, so I feel like I'm in charge 3 different meal plans.  Usually, just to make it easier on myself, I just make one thing that I know everyone else will eat even if I really don't like it.   Isn't that my duty as a wife/mom?  Make sure everyone else is taken care of and happy.  Don't worry about me, I take a pink pill every day for my happiness.

Wow, I think I sound a little bitter.  That's probably not inspiring anyone else out there looking for support.

I'm hoping that venting my frustration with all of this will have some sort of therapeutic affect on me.  It will also help when Corine and Brian return to school and work tomorrow. 

I will be checking back and posting better and more postive thoughts!