Thursday, January 13, 2011

Hello. My name is...

Greetings, fellow dieters! My name is Dana and I am friend to a couple of people on this blog. Here's my story:

I really need to lose this baby weight. My body has never been the same. Oh, wait baby is 17...

2010 was a milestone year for me, body-wise: my body turned 40 years old, and I now weigh more than I did when I was at my heaviest pregnant weight. At my doctor's appointment last March, she told me I should probably "start doing something" since I had gained more in the last 5 years than I had in the previous 10.

I am 6 feet tall. That means the number on my scale is always going to be a little higher than my friend's. It means whenever I tell people how much I weigh they say, "Yeah, but you're 6 feet tall!", like that's supposed to make me loathe myself less. It also means I'll never wear a size 10 in jeans. I am not a total cow. I weighed 150 when I got married 20 years ago, 205 at my heaviest point in pregnancy 17 years ago, and 209 last week. It's not like I need the seatbelt extenders on airplanes, but I am a little squidgy around the edges. I'm wearing a 14 in jeans and refuse to go to a 16. My next step is denim jumpers and lies (as in: "Yes, we're thrilled to be expecting at this late stage in life!").  The fact is, I hate to exercise, I hate Slimfast, I love sugar and I love salt. But, I also love a few healthy things, so I think I can do this. Because I really hate denim jumpers.

I have lost weight twice previously: 20 lbs when I had braces on 3 years ago (eating spagettiOs and water) and 25 lbs when I had neck surgery (eating Oxycontin and Vicodin). I wonder where spagettiOs and Vicodin would get me?! I have never done Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, or Dr. Oz. I can count on one hand how many times I've 'done' Jillian Michaels. I really don't think I'll ever be back at my 150 lb Wedding Weight. Two neck surgeries have severly limited my range of motion and activity level. But that doesn't mean I have to eat Sour Cream & Onion Pringles and A&W root beer for dinner, does it?

So... I joined ZUMBA on Tuesdays and Core Fitness on Thursdays. I have a friend who is willing to see me in a swimsuit and we're doing laps 2 nights a week. I also have a treadmill in the garage, Jillian Michaels in the DVD player, and hills and trails behind my house for those days when I just have to walk. My goal is to not look like a heinous pig in shorts this summer. Oh, and maybe buy some skinny jeans. I hope I'm not aiming too high...



  1. Oh, sistah... I do not believe you weigh 209. You sure as bloody heck don't look like it, seriously. And you looked like you weighed about 115 at your wedding in 1990; you were a stick figure! Are you sure it was 150?!

    Anyhoo, I'd like to hear more about the Pringles and root beer thing; can you elaborate? In explicit detail? For ME, please? It sounds fabulous.

    I worry about your neck doing Zumba... What does Core Fitness involve? Did you know that there is a Zumba for Wii??? I wanna try that!

    I'll go skinny jeans shopping with you on May 15th... it's a date! We can get a pair used at Plato's Closet for eight bucks. ROTFL.

    Soldier on, woman. You've done this before. You can do it again. Sans Spaghettios or Vicodin.

    Sorry you found Slimfast to taste somewhat ass-like. Bummer. I just keep telling myself they taste like chocolate heaven. It almost works.

  2. That damn baby weight! I would never guess you weigh over two hundred. But then I didn't think you were six feet tall either. I mean, I knew you were tall, but I guess I never thought HOW tall. You don't look overweight. Sounds like you're getting lots of exercise. If you got down to 150 you'd look sickly.