Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Ever feel like you're being watched?

Well, we sort of are.  I gave our Chunkerson's blog link to my Guru.  She thinks it's great and "really enjoys the writing of the cynical one"...  hmm, wonder which one of you that is??

Don't fret now; she said that she might even contribute with her own posts so let's all welcome Lisa with open arms and open minds.  Sounds silly, but even she struggles and goes thru what we do, too.   P.S. Have I mentioned that she's a whole bunch of awesomeness all wrapped up in a fit and trim package.

I'm realizing that all my excitement for this journey that I'm on may be a turn off for others.  I can understand that not everything works for everyone, and you're ideas and practices might not for for me but they do wonders for you.  I think that's what we're all out here for; to share our frustrations, joys, accomplishments, and guilty confessions. 

This plan that I'm on is "easy" for me because I am able to be at home so sitting down to the table to plan meals, then cook them, then eat them isn't all that difficult.  Even with the 8 year old running around me.  If I'm out of a certain ingredient or completely change my mind about what my protein choice for tonight is I can force my kid to get back in the car and off to the grocery store we go.  I don't have to wait until break time or clear it with the boss or run after work.   If I had a nine to five like most people do, well for starters  I might not have gotten into the predicament with my weight gain in the first place, but also I fear that I'd be to darn exhausted to even attempt this project.  So to all of you working women - geez, give yourself some credit!   It's hard!!

Also you should know that my family is supportive - to a limit.  They are happy for me and give me pats on the back etc; but nobody wants to really do this with me.  Nobody else is saying "hey could we work in a little da-ta-da in our meals" or "wow, I also want to cut back on my carbs - how can I do that?",  OR "Hey, we should all go for a long walk/bike ride/canoe trip etc... because we all need more exercise."  Or "I'm going to get a refill on my water, do you want one too??"

When I started this, I asked for Brian's support and "Oh yeah! I'll be in your face!" but then I had to throw down some rules like #1, no asking me if I want ice cream at 8:30 at night.   So far he's been good about that.  And if he's not interested in eating what I cook, he's on his own.  Corine is always on her own anyway, so that's not an issue really.

Now other's situations may be different and it could be difficult to change eating habits because the majority in the household doesn't wanna.  Then you end up being the short order cook and even more exhausted and resentful than before.

And not putting yourself a little higher up on the totem pole of importance for the sake of others.  While that's incredibly sweet and unselfish of you, um it really might not be what's best.  Because when you turn the tables, isn't it rather selfish of everyone else to just take advantage of the fact that you'll just do what is better for them, never minding how it makes you feel?  Since when does the title of wife and/or mother mean "doormat"?  Where's the respect?  I'd love to take care of you, as long as there's reciprocity.  (that's a pretty big word for me.)

One of the hardest things about changing your habits is that it forces others to change, too.  Like it or not.  At the very least, it causes others to have to THINK about changing their habits, too.    About 10 years ago, Brian and I decided to start some of our own holiday traditions.  These new traditions didn't necessarily include other family members and in certain situations, it didn't sit all that well with others.  You know why?  It's because it meant a change in how they carried out their traditions.  After some time, all I know is that WE are happier because of the changes that WE made and that's really all that matters.

I was watching an interview with George W. Bush the other night.  It was all about the day of 9/11 and what he experienced that day and the next few after.  He commented at one point it came to him "How did we NOT know that this attack was about to happen?"  But rather than waste time and energy on figuring out how this slipped thru the cracks right this minute, they instead decided to focus on the now and near future instead.  In that critical moment, it didn't make sense to waste time looking back.

Now isn't that something that can be applied to everyday life?  Kristin spent a lovely weekend at her cabin.  She said it was so nice and very much needed time away.  But yet, she's feeling sooo guilty about the amount of smore's she ate.  Treats should be enjoyed...  unless you're eating smores daily...  go for it.  Lisa has said that it's when that bowl of ice cream goes from being a real special treat to a habitual no-no that there is a problem.  Let's stop beating ourselves up for enjoying life, and get back on track ASAP.    It's OK!  We are going to live a loooonnnngggg time, so we should allow the occasional free weekend or whatever. 

Social events are going to happen...  dinner out with friends, movie night, girl's weekend, going to Mom's.  We could either become completely anti-social and hate life, or plan accordingly and pay attention to ourselves and get out of the house.  Say I know we're meeting friend for a night out...  before the event, I'll eat and drink the good stuff and make a mental note to control myself when I'm out.   Perhaps it's easier said than done, but after a few tries, I have to think it will become easier.

Whoa - maybe this is too much talking from me. 

Go get a glass of water and peace out!

1 comment:

  1. Glad that The Guru will be checking in on us! The more on this journey, the merrier!

    I concur on the meal planning stuff. As a family, we have a constant tug-of-war between wanting to sit down to more "family dinners" in order to feel more connected during the week, to wanting to just be responsible for our own meals and the what/where/when details of how we feed ourselves. This includes myself, my husband (who is also trying to lose about 20 pounds), and my 15-year-old, who is trying to lose the same! We're the "Lose 20 pounds Club!" Which on the one hand, is encouraging - we each only have about 20 pounds to lose in order to be at our goal or "ideal" weight, which in our minds is the weight at which we fit into our "old clothes." LOL.

    I HATE to grocery shop, because even though I KNOW I'm supposed to "stick to the perimeter" of the store, and avoid buying anything over-process and less-than-natural (cereal, pasta, crackers, granola bars, microwaveable mac and cheese, etc. etc. etc...) - but I can't seem to do it. I end up coming home with all kinds of things that are destined to derail my diet in a moment of weakness, and I always tell myself it's because I'm not only shopping for ME - and for MY food needs - I also have the husband, and the teenager, and the 3-year-old, who don't like it when the portable stuff isn't available at least some of the time.

    I find that it's 100 times easier to watch my eating when I'm at work - it's HOME that derails me. If I was single and childless, it wouldn't be any different than work. I would simply shop for me, and nobody else. But that's not my reality.

    My husband is supportive of my efforts, and never talks negatively when I stuble, or even crash and burn... he's trying to lose, too, so he knows it's tough. But he's also a big guy, and he gets to eat between 1700 and 1900 calories a day and he still loses weight, and I have a bit of calorie-envy there. He can eat the bowl of ice cream at 11:00 p.m. and still be down on the scale the next day. I have a VERY TOUGH TIME watching him do this, and I don't always have the strength to say NO to my own bowl. :o(

    I do enjoy life, and I never deprive myself when I'm at a social event. My real issue is that our social events are always food events, and they seem to be an endless stream of them. Every week, it's something. Tonight, I'm going to a "Miche Purse Party" at a cousin's house, and will indulge in the snack table, no doubt. I ALWAYS tell myself to enjoy in moderation. But when there's fruit pizza and bruschetta and bowls of Hersheys minis and WINE....... YEAH.