Saturday, September 17, 2011

Anne has an "A-Ha!" moment.

Yes, Oprah!  It's for realz.  Way back, a long long long time ago when Corine was a newbie, I was starting out my new "career" as a stay at home mommy and whoa!  I discovered Dr. Phil.  I can't stand that show anymore, but at the time it clicked for me and I was addicted to his show.   "How's that workin' for ya??"   He started his own "Biggest Loser" contest and really did offer a lot of good information about food from a psychology point of view.  He preached about our addiction to sugar (much like Lisa does) and made promises to all of us faithful viewers that if we are diligent in our efforts and really stick to his eating advice, after a few weeks we wouldn't even crave that bad stuff. 

Yeah, right.  I wasn't gonna fall for that.  Until now. A-Ha!  Light bulb!

I've been doing this diet for 4 weeks now and it's true.  I should re-word that actually as being human, yes I do still have those cravings for chocolate and french fries (yeah, at the same time) but I don't think about it obsessively to the point of not being able to think about anything else and the next thing you know, I'm in the Mickey D's drive thru screaming "GIVE IT TO ME!" at the box! 

Last weekend, we treated ourselves to a little Culver's frozen custard.  I just ordered one scoop of the flavor of the day and Brian inhaled a Lalapalooza.  (not really, I just want to make an example of his bad habits to make me look better.)  I finished my 1/2 cup of frozen goodness and thought..."ehhh, it wasn't really that great."   I have this chocolate protein pudding mix from Lisa that I think is super yummy, esp when I mix in my fresh strawberries.  OMG!  Heavenly.  Coulda had that instead and been happy.

Yesterday I had plans to meet a g-friend for lunch at a restaurant downtown.   I was all excited for A.) lunch with a friend, B.) not having to cook, and C.) putting my menu planning skills to the test and being a good girl.  I ordered a chicken taco salad.  The menu claimed it was an abundant amount of fresh salad greens in a taco shell (that I wasn't planning on eating - never been a fave of mine) pico de gallo (sp?) black bean and corn salsa and seasoned shredded chicken.  Sounds perfect.  I asked for all the sour cream, guac, and dressing on the side.  What a good girl!

The perfect sized salad arrives to the table, just as I ordered!  I stuck my fork into the salad to sorta stir it up as all the chicken was on the top... I kept searching and searching...  where the hell is the lettuce?  It was almost all most people wouldn't complain about not enough veggies, but I have to say that I was sorta disappointed.  It was delicious!  But, I knew I wasn't getting enough of everything I needed.  Seriously, I don't think that a wild coyote could have eaten all that chicken.   Then as I was digesting, I wanted to lay down and take a nap right there on the dirty bar floor.   I felt horrible.  Sluggish.  Depressed.  Unsatisfied.  I wanted a plate of fruit and a gallon of water.   I walked around the neighborhood later in the day with Max, and he was actually pulling me along instead of the other way around.  I kept begging him to just stop and sniff and pee on something.  I fell asleep on the couch at 9:00.  Woke up at 10:30.  Went to bed and didn't wake up until 7:30 this morning.  I haven't done that since before I detoxed. 

I don't want to do that to myself again, but what do I do when friends want to go out to lunch?  I'm going to become even more antisocial!   No worries; next time I will check with my guru for advice ahead of time..  she knows of good places to go and good things to order.   She's got my back.

And another thing.  When I was driving home from this two hour lunch, not only was I half asleep but my ears were ringing like the Carol of the Bells.  What?  That's usually a sign of my anxiety workin' itself up.   What was I wound up about?  I just had a nice lunch with an old friend.  I got home and as I was getting out of the car, oh man my neck and shoulders were all tense. 

Hmmm, was that really a nice lunch with an old friend?  She's still the same even keeled girl as ever, but her lifestyle and mine are polar opposites.  As I thought of the things that she was telling me about what's new in her world, I came to the realization that if I had just met her for the first time that day, I would never go out of my way to socialize with her again.  Not that she's a bad person, or a negative Nellie, I just don't usually associate with 44 year old bar hoppers.  Her kids are a mess, but she has this mentality that they decide their own destiny.  There were just somethings that I didn't agree with, and I'm sure she listened to my boring life's tales and thinks I'm a prudish bitch.   Whatever. 

I only get so much "me" time each day, and I was upset with how I spent it yesterday.  Meetings with friends should be an energy booster, not a drain.   But I had a great session with Lisa this morning and today is a new day!  I think that the counselling part of this life style change is even more important than the food coaching.   Like she says, it's way deeper than just the food we eat. 

Lisa said something like "Maybe you needed that lunch with her for a reason."  Like to show me what my values really are; what my goals are... etc.  So right.  Perhaps it wasn't time wasted after all.


  1. Interesting... I think lots of people think I'm leading an incredibly boring life too, but I'd rather have that than all the drama. I'm proud of you for doing so good! Keep it up!

  2. You're doing great, Anne! Still waiting for your enthusiasm to completely rub off on me; what's taking so long, eh??? LOL. Just kidding, of course. I know we have to find our own. No fair.

    Re: Restaurants, I concur. It's always difficult for me to spend time with friends who aren't also in the midst of trying to get healthy/in shape, because they can't relate to me on any level when I'm trying to focus on those things - it's ALWAYS, "What restaurant should we meet at???" I'd MUCH prefer to eat at one of our houses, and visit there, and have total control over the menu that way. There isn't a restaurant ANYWHERE that offers truly healthy food. I'll give a local example: A place in West Duluth called J.B. Schneider's has phenomenal food. Lots of fresh ingredients, "real" lettuce in their salads, rather than just iceberg, etc. BUT... I ordered a take-out salad for lunch with my hubby last Friday, because we were both trying to be good - he had an inline marathon to skate in Saturday, and I was gearing up for my birthday carb-fest on Saturday night, and I wanted to minimize my eating until then. Anyway, I ordered a "French-style, 'nicoise' salad, which boasted 'tuna, nicoise olives, tomatoes, Parmesan cheese, onions, sliced POTATOES...' and I added hard-boiled eggs, as I was craving them. The vinegar-y dressing was on the side, and was yummy, so I used it all, of course. So my salad arrives, and it's huge, and the potatoes are obviously dripping in butter(or coated with something that LOOKED like butter...), and the "tuna" was tuna SALAD! Loaded with mayo and not what I wanted. I ate it anyway, and felt like a slug all day long. Zero energy, crabby, guts felt like mush.

    This happens over and over when I'm trying to "be good" in a restaurant: You NEVER know how food is going to be prepared, and I think most restaurants are guilty of the same kind of advertising deceptions that food packagers are; they brag about crap like "fresh!' and "low-fat!" or "homemade!" but then they botch it and your ingredients are prepared in the worst possible way. I was DROOLING at the thought of flaky tuna on a salad. But tuna salad?! Crap, I could have bought that at the BP gas station. :oP

    FYI, I have also had this happen at Perkins. Sometimes I go there for breakfast with my hubby and his business partner, as it's only a couple blocks from our office. I always "build-my-own" omelette with mushrooms, tomatoes, peppers, and onions - I even SKIP the cheese! I get DRY whole grain toast (or NO toast), and I sip hot tea or water - and I STILL always feel crappy all day afterward. Why??? Because my beautiful, healthy omelette was fried on the same grill surface as the greasy burgers are. I'm getting enough old, stale grease in my omelette to make me nearly-puking sick. It's enough to make me just stick to the tea. When will restaurants get it right???