Saturday, April 7, 2012

Hey Chunkers!!

Anne here!  I'm alive and doing fairly well.  I go thru some pretty intense carbing out phases...seems like an every other week regimine.  I do really good at avoiding the crap, then I binge like a mad woman.  Then I feel like crap...physically and emotionally.  This has been a relatively good week with the exception of yesterday... I ate a half a pizza and then we went to friggen Cold Stone.  That place is EVIL!!!  EEEEEVVVVIIILLLL!!!! 

But I have been kicking ass in my workouts, which has also kicked my appetite in high gear.  I'm always hungry it seems and I want to take an entire roast beef and sit in a locked room and have my way with it!  Protein. GOOD.    Dr. Pat has got me swinging a 60 lbs bell.  YES!  I can do it!!  I hate/love it.  I just loathe the idea of picking up that heavy ass bell and hoisting it from between my legs up to eye level.  I wet myself.  No matter how hard I try to empty out the bladder, there's always a squirt or two (or 1/4 cup) left for pissing myself.  Thank you to the makers of Poise for making it a little more descrete for me. 

But, BUT!! the second I'm done and I drop that weight on the floor I feel insanely amazing!!  Like I could cry tears of joy.  I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I feel like I'm floating off the ground.  Dr. Pat is currently training a guy that does fighting.  I think it's like a mixed martial arts thing...need to get more details, but he tells me that I can press more than this guy and he's in phenom shape.  It's so inspiring to know that I can do that! 

Some days later, I'm seeing the results in the mirror and I'm even happier.  After my last weigh in, I've lost something like 24 or 26 lbs and I love that I've done it the right way. 

Kristin! I have another thing for you to read... in addition to "the wheat belly", now there's "Diabesity".  Google it!  I'm reading an article about it in a magazine that Lisa gave me.  Let's get real about our blood sugar!   When I'm done devouring this article and comprehending all the info, I'll come back here and write about it.   It's enough to scare a person straight.

p.s.  I'm back in therapy.   Just when I thought I was done sitting in that lovely comfy chair in my counselors office...BAM!  I'm back...  As easy as it is for me to say "You're either with me or you're not" to my loved ones that aren't exactly the best supportors, it was taking it's toll.  Anne was sad.  Mr. J is helping me with that though...he did say that change, even a positive change, can bring some resistance from others around us and we're working on that.  Brian has even agreed to join me in some of my sessions... I don't think he even realizes that he can be a real negative nelly.  When I told him about some of my issues, he was genuinely shocked and has been much more caring and careful about it.   

It's a journey, huh? 


  1. Anne, I've been thinking about therapy. My friend who is a clinical psychologist thinks I would benefit greatly. I think I'm having a mid life crisis, and I think that is just all the piddly little issues have finally caught up with me and I need to empty the baggage. Ugh. I'm sure that has nothing to do with why I'm so fat. (sarcasm)

  2. Oh, also: I had pizza hut pizza last night. A personal pan pepperoni and I woke up this morning and I was actually hung over from it. I was a groggy bloated mess. I had to eat half cooked oatmeal for breakfast in the hopes that it would absorb some of the excess fluid. It worked.

  3. omg... Sarah, I'm going to email you.

  4. Anne, all of the above - yes yes yes and YES!!! First, I thought I was the only one who periodically ate half a pizza and then followed it with dessert. Happy to know I have peers! :o)

    Second, LMAO about the kettle-bell peeing. Yet one more reason why I will NOT be trying that particular "fun" activity. Just my luck, I'd be the one in class who could NOT limit myself to 1/4 cup of leakage, and hoisting huge weights while wearing Depends will have to wait til I'm in The Home someday.

    KUDOS on the 24-26 loss. I have lost and kept off only SIX since January 1st.

    I was SO gung-ho about the Wheat Belly info. when I read it that I instantly bought it for my Nook, and cut out 99% of the wheat from my diet. I immediately lost 12 pounds, in a ridiculously short amount of time. My FACE looked so different that people were making comments. My wrists and ankles and fingers and TOES were no longer puffy. My flaccid, poochy gut even looked different. Then...

    Then, nothing. I somehow blocked out that amazing discovery, and the incredible effects of cutting out wheat, and I started eating it again. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. I just know that I did. I knew it worked, but I quit doing it. I felt tons better, but I quit. Why?! Because for some bizarre-fucked-up psychological reason I don't REALLY want to feel better, but want to feel as crappy as I always have - or WORSE?!?!?!?!

    There has to be a logical reason, but for the love of all that's holy, I sure as shit can't fathom it.

    I never read my Wheat Belly Nook Book, just the article Anne posted - and a couple others online. Today, I am starting to read it. And I am TOTALLY going to look up Diabesity!!! Diabetes runs in my family, as well as a zillion other health hazards - it's irresponsible for me to not know as much as I can about diabetes in particular, I know.

    Therapy - LOVE therapy. Been going since September, and I can't think of any other activity I'd rather throw such huge piles of money at. Unless you count traveling. But I don't. Anyway, our couples therapist is the coolest. She even takes my side once in awhile, so, bonus.

    Mid-life crisis?! Who, ME?! You could do what I just did, this past Saturday - just go get a few tattoos and maybe a piercing. It makes you feel young and impulsive and - well, YOUNG - super-duper fast. I was LAUGHING when I walked out, still disbelieving. I didn't forewarn the husband, either - I wanted to do something just for me, for once in six years. And it actually did what I hoped it would - it made me feel happy, and independent, and younger, and... HAPPY. The piercer-dude and the tattoo-dude didn't give me grief about the extra 27 pounds I'm carrying, and for two hours, I forgot all about them and reveled in my wicked indulgence(s). I have to say...I can highly recommend a visit to Saint Sabrina's Piercing and Tattoo Parlor in Minneapolis to assist in any amount of depression or mid-life-crisis-ness.

    I'll be posting above tonight - I am BACK ON TRACK, starting TODAY - today is D-Day!!!!!!! 74 days until my 25-year high school class reunion. I'm not trying to weight what I did in high school; hell, I weighed 75 pounds at 16! (Thank YOU, Crohn's Disease.......! UGH.) All I want is to look fabulous, and I feel like I looked as close to fabulous as I ever have when I got married in 2006, at about 125 pounds; i.e., 27 pounds thinner than what I am now.

    More to come... it took me all day just to get this one comment completed, LMAO!