Friday, October 14, 2011

Cheese is THE DEVIL

First of all, let me congratulate Anne on a fantastic job!  You have a fantastic attitude - keep it up!!!  You can do it - it's obvious you can; you already ARE!!!  I applaud you.  You even have the success to back up a clothes-updating trip;  I haven't dropped a size since April.  I've been stuck at the same weight since April.  My attitude has sucked since April.  

I had Book Club last night.  I starved myself all day in anticipation of the inevitable carb-fest.  Sarah was there; she witnessed this.  I cannot hide from it.  I ate my weight in cheese.  Havarti cheese, Gorgonzola cheese, REAL CHEESE.  I was puking sick all the way home, and all night.  I didn't actually puke.  I was just desperate to.  The food was fabulous.  I had a grilled cheese sandwich (an inch thick with 4 or 5 exotic cheese; no cheddar here, no sir-ee!), and I added tomato and homemade hummus to the mix.  Top it off with homemade, dense, whole-foods-type bread, and you have ecstasy, ladies.  I didn't really need TWO bottles of creme soda to wash it down.  I could have stuck with one, and then ice water.  And I didn't really need that piece of pecan pie after I was already so stuffed I couldn't MOVE.  Or the glass of 2% milk.  

I am really uncomfortable today.  I am still infused with cheese.  I need a cleanse.  But I won't do one, because I hate them more than I hate the feeling of being cheese-i-fied.

My attitude isn't really as poor as it sounds.  I am only venting.  THANKS!  I am on-track to lose 15 pounds by Thanksgiving, apart from last night's binge.  I'm slowly dropping.  I need more exercise each week, and I need to start on my core/ab ball stuff, but food-wise I'm doing OK.  I'm still counting calories.  I'm eating around 1100-1300 daily.  I'm still avoiding white flour, because it turns instantly to fat on me.  That means I'm avoiding my favorite foods.  Next to zero bagels, pasta, crackers, pretzels, bread (OMG, no TOAST!), muffins, etc.  I'm eating a little bit of something every 2-3 hours.  Lots of ice water, brewed hot and cold tea; I MIGHT drink one or two cans of real pop per week (no artificial sweeteners anymore for me; got rid of all my headaches...), and I'm loading up on veggies, salads, low-cal soups, whole grains like RyKrisp, Grape Nuts, Brad Buds, Wasa crackers, etc..., protein in Greek yogurt, eggs, raw almonds, and low-fat string cheese...  It's all helping.  I'm trying.  I have my eyes on the prize.  I have my goals set.  I want to lose 15# by Thanksgiving, then eat a huge turkey dinner, then lose 10 more by New Year's.  I'd LOVE to go into 2012 without having "LOSE WEIGHT" on my resolution list again!!!

Soldier on, ladies!  Keep fighting the good fight.  One day at a time!  I cheat.  But not often.  I have a tough time at night, especially.  I was rocking a perfect 1100-calorie day on Wednesday, and suddenly looked down and had consumed an entire bag of microwave popcorn, a can of Coke, AND a HUGE bag of Lifesaver Gummies!  This was at LEAST a 1200-calorie binge.  I barely even tasted it.  So adding that to my cheese-a-thon last night, well... not the best week for me so far.  But I won't give up.  Today has been great.  I'll eat a little more protein, a little more fiber later in the day to fight my evening cravings tonight.  It'll be all good.  

Great to hear your update, Anne!  Keep writing - you always motivate me!!!

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