Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Second That Emoticon...

YES, you have readers out there...I check this page every day!
And it's not because I have NO life, but because I have found that this blog, as well as my other one, are really helping me with motivation to stay on-track with my "healthy eating plan," more than anything else has to date.  I need the accountability of "checking in" with someone, even if I never see a person.  I don't have time to drive to a Weight-Watchers or Tops "weigh-in" every week, so blogging is the next best thing for me.

I, too, have had a couple of "rough" food weeks.  I am not yet completely disgusted with myself, though I'm getting there.  I'm trying to allow myself the reality that due to a few unavoidable, extenuating circumstances, it was very difficult to stick to my regimen on many of the last 16 days.  Of course, that has not been the case EVERY one of those days - so I don't have any excuse for some of the random days that I slacked off.  

I still start every day the same way - motivated to make it a good one, over-all, with 1100 calories consumed and some kind of exercise every day.  I go through the routine of filing away my little scribbled calorie-count from the day before, regardless of how unsuccessful I was by the end, and start each morning with a clean sheet of paper and a cup of tea.  My mornings have been OK, for the most part.  Afternoons have been so-so.  I've eaten too many restaurant lunches, a Big Daddy's burger here, and a few Dairy Queen cones there.  These are, obviously, a no-no...but Dairy Queen just opened for the season near our office, so...I've indulged.  Dinners and evenings in general have been pretty horrific.  Not a lot of calorie-counting going on there.  But I'm ready to get back to it now.

My "excuses" aren't anything monumental, but I'm still gonna cling to them...Starting with April 25th, when I had a (super-duper fun) procedure done at the Duluth Clinic that has prevented me from getting back on the treadmill and elliptical yet.  (The short version:  I had myself sterilized by having little "Essure" coils jammed up into my tubes; RAH RAH RAH!)  It was an easy procedure, done right in the office, but I've been..."tender" ever since.  I can't bend at the waist too fast unless I want to feel little twinges of weird pain in my abdomen, and I DON'T want to feel those.  So I have been totally taking it easy, and avoiding all exercise, and I know that has been a huge reason for the subsequent apathy with my diet.  

It's gotten to the point that I can't do one without the other anymore.  When I would exercise, it made it a LOT easier to stick to my strict calorie intake - because I didn't want to blow it after sweating through an entire work-out!  And vise-versa; when I'd get home after work and had only eaten 520 calories, it prompted me to eat a super-healthy dinner and then get on a treadmill, so that I would end the day in REALLY great shape.  When one component was missing, it made the other that much harder to stick to.  Weird.  I was really starting to LIKE the exercise, and I swear I never thought that would happen.  I am going to try a slow treadmill walk tonight.  Hopefully.

Anyway, April 25th was kind of a messed-up day of decline over-all.  Within an hour of returning home from my "procedure," our baby swallowed a fish bone, which somehow speared through her right tonsil, and 17 hours later we were still camped out at the hospital, waiting for discharge papers after her minor surgery to remove the bone.  Joy joy.  Anyway, after eating "dinner" in the hospital vending machines (TWO cans of Coke, Twizzlers, nacho Doritos, and Pop Tarts...), I think I really just had several days afterward where I ate a lot of foods that I've been seriously missing since February; specifically, JUNK FOOD.

I prefer now to look at the past 16 days as simply a little "hiatus" from my strict, regimented, ultra-controlled diet.  I think it's OK to do this once in a great while.  Hell, sometimes it's probably even NECESSARY, to keep oneself feeling like a living, fully-functioning human being.  The one thing I do know is, all has not been lost.  It's not as though I have to completely start over from scratch.  I had "figured it out," after all.  I knew what I had to do to keep losing weight - I was doing it, day after day, and I was losing!  At my lowest, I was down to 147.0 pounds - or 18.5 pounds lost since February 7th.  This morning, I weighed 149.5, which is only 2.5 pounds re-gained.  That's not so bad.  I can lose that again fairly quickly.  All it will take is a few days back on my strict plan, and getting back into my exercise, and I'll be back on track.

Don't worry, girlie!  It's all good.  I think it's only fair that you give yourself a "pass" on the diet when you're on vacation.  I don't think I could EVER force myself to reign it in with the "fun foods" when I'm out-of-town, no matter where I am.  I know, I know.  It's not supposed to be a "diet;" it's supposed to be a "total, permanent lifestyle change" and "food-choices make-over" that follows us everywhere, no matter where we are.  Yeah.  I also know that just because I'm drinking a can of Coke and eating Good N' Plentys while I type this doesn't mean that I can't or won't get back on that (big fat) horse this afternoon, and eat better the rest of the day if I really really really try hard.

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