HELP.

UGH.

I have had a couple of VERY CRAPPY food weeks.  It never fails to amaze (and disgust) me to see how L-O-N-G it takes to lose a measly @#$%* FIVE pounds, and how LITTLE TIME it takes to GAIN five pounds.  On December 26th, I weighed 155.5.  This morning, I WEIGHED 156.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been trying, working, starving, fighting cravings, avoiding my favorite foods, ignoring hunger, ignoring SANGRIA, and whimpering myself to sleep for the past MONTH - and for what?!  Of course I've cheated here and there, DUH.  OBVIOUSLY.  And yeah, we had a birthday party for my husband last night.  And yeah, I ate a bowl of chili (homemade, with venison) with basmati rice and a piece of cake (gluten-free and organic!).  And yes, I also ate a few crackers (rice, of course!) and drank two glasses of moscato.  But to be HEAVIER than I was a month ago this morning?!  How did I gain three pounds in 3 hours?!


Needless to say, my motivation is in the crapper today and I've already guzzled a can of Dr. Pepper and a can of Coke Classic (which I am sucking on now), as well as an "Everything" bagel with eggs & fake cheese, AND a huge piece of the "fake cake" I made for the other party attendees - Pillsbury dark chocolate with chocolate-fudge-lardy-preservatived-horrid frosting.  


Yes, it's sad but true.  Today, I DON'T CARE WHAT I EAT, or how much additional damage I do.  I SERIOUSLY want to crawl in a hole.


Sorry for the downer - I'd rather be inspiring and uplifting.  But what I guess I really need is for someone to slap me silly (at least verbally) and tell me I look as hideous as I feel.

Day 15

I've made it to the half way mark of my 30 day no wheat challenge.  It's getting easier, and I feel kinda proud of myself for pulling out of some really bad cravings and nourishing my body and mind with REAL food. 

I did say I'd go 100% no wheat, but I lied.  Sort of.   There are those nasty hidden gluten thickeners in things that I have cut back on, but are sometimes totally unavoidable.  BUT there are the good wheats that I don't need to deprive myself of.  Ezekiel bread and the Ezekiel CEREAL (oh yes, there is!) are on the menu and OK to have.

Although they are on the menu, I still limit the amounts.  This cereal is AWESOME in Greek yogurt with fresh blueberries.   It's like a Grape Nuts texture.  Love the almonds in there, too.

Oh man, then there's my new favorite sugar craving buster....  natural peanut butter.  Just ground peanuts and sea salt.  I mix a tbsp of pb with a tbsp of coconut oil and a smidge of honey....  dalish, filling, good fats, good oils, and good proteins.  Might have to add some of my cereal in there next time for a little crunch! 

Thursday afternoon, I was craving Mickey D's so badly but I didn't want to go out into the freezing cold to get it.  I made my own burger, no bun, fresh WI cheese (do you know how much I love living here?  Lots!), and zucchini spears with a sour cream/cottage cheese & seasoning dip.  I was stuffed, satisfied and proud.... not slow, sluggish, and depressed like I would have been if my craving had got the best of me. 

Also upped the weight amount in my kettle bells classes.  Whoa.  I swear I had a charlie horse in the middle of my back yesterday while working out.  I never thought I actually had muscle there... it's always been, well mushel.  Fat and a spine.   I wanted to die, but later on in the day I was feeling so dang good.  I want to do that workout again and I will push myself to do even better.

So, the 15 day results...  Some weight loss (slow and steady wins the race), better complexion (for this time of year, my skin actually looks fresh), where did my droopy eyelids go?? :),  and my anxiety is down.  I think the mental relief is the biggest deal.  Can't describe it in words...but the weight on my shoulders has been lifted.  

Looking forward to the next 15 days!

Keep on keepin on!

Anne

RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH!

OMG, I TOTALLY used to love Susan Powter.  I saw the pic Anne posted, and I was instantly dying to see if she was still in shape, at 50 years old!!!  Ummmmmmm....................... YEAH, she is.  So she must be doing something right!    ROTFL!

Susan Powter at FIFTY!!!!!!!

I wanna look like her in 6 1/2 years.  NOT even kidding.

The Real Food thing has totally taken hold of me.  Right now, I'm chewing a piece of bubble gum my toddler spit out (DISGUSTING, I KNOW!!!) ....... and I feel like I'm cheating on my diet, because of the artificial sweeteners in it!!!    LOL

I have done enough reading this week to convince me that every bite I take that is full of preservatives and chemicals is just evidence of my complete apathy about my own mortality.  Because basically, after the stuff I've read, I know that every bite of Garbage Food that I eat now is just dragging me one bite closer to death.  No drama intended.  But it's true.


I figure, damnit - we each get one shot at this.  ONE life to spend.  ONE chance to either put the right food into our bodies as a way to show appreciation for the life we've been gifted with, or to TOTALLY fuck it up (pardon my French) and eat crap that we KNOW will make us sick, and make us crabby, and make us DIE.  

Gee.  Tough choice???
Not for me, not anymore.

Insert a new program into the Matrix.

(Anne can't take credit for that line...  It's one of my coach's favorite one-liners.)

Remember this lady:

STOP THE INSANITY!!!

I never really listened to her shpeel and I'm not promoting her gig, but isn't that slogan so very true?  Stop the insanity!

As in, STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!  That's kinda where I'm at right now.  It's not just about weight loss for me anymore.  WHY do I do this to myself?  WHY do I eat these things that are essentially toxic to me? 

Here's what I'm finally getting.  Sugar is bad for Momma.  It's only taken 4 months of coaching from Lisa for me to actually get it.  Sugar (be it refined white sugar or in the forms of carbs that instantly turn into sugar in my system) doesn't just make me fat.  It drives me crazy.  It contributes to my depression and anxiety.  It hijacks my brain with these unbelievably strong and irresistible cravings to the point of not being able to think about anything but "I GOTTA HAVE IT NOW!!" then leaves me with painful withdrawal symptoms.  Headaches, body aches, an overall sluggish-ness, and then I turn into Debbie Downer.  So, how do I pick myself up?  More sugar and the cycle continues.  STOP IT!

I'm on day 7 of no wheat and have been really making a huge effort to cut out all refined sugars.  I think clearly.  I'm happy, but not manic-crazy happy.  I sleep better.   More tolerant and patient.   Motivation is there.  I'm sitting here feeling excited about my day!   I can't wait to go exercise!

So I now know this and believe in it.  I know that I will have a long battle with cravings.  It is an addiction.  But before I eat or drink something, I'm really going to ask myself "What are you getting out of this?"  Is it good for me?  Yeah, I know it tastes really good, but is that enough?  Instant gratification, but later I'm I gonna be "sick"? 

Let's change our ways of thinking.  Instead of focusing on weight loss, let's focus on our overall health.  Isn't that more important?  I don't want to have Type II diabetes, or high blood pressure, or inflammatory/metabolic conditions, or cancer, yada yada yada.   Those fake wheat, refined sugars and man made "good for you oils" will cause that stuff.  The weight will come off, and that's only one of the many benefits of taking care of yourself.  Sure it tastes great, but is it worth it?

Another positive note, last night after my lovely relaxing bath I noticed a good change in my body.  I didn't have that flubby wubby feeling.  I don't look 7 months preggers.  Hey, what's that?  I have deltoids!  Real definition in my delts!!  Seeing the physical results is a HUGE motivator to keep working out.  Finally!!  It IS working!! 

And I had BACON for breakfast.  Real, thick cut from the butcher, good bacon.  And eggs.  And fresh fruit in my yogurt.  I'm not sitting here with the shakes or the need to lay down in bed.  I'm ready for the day.

Hey, have you tried real peanut butter?  You know, just peanuts and salt?  No extra added oils or sugars?  I freakin' love this stuff and it put the kabash on my sugar craving yesterday afternoon.  BAM!  I'm talkin' TKO.  I added a little coconut oil to my spoonful and OH, creamy goodness. 

Kristin, you are sooo right.  Eat REAL food.  If you're going to have fat, make it real fat.  If you're going to have dairy, have real dairy.   I put real half and half in my limited amount of coffee.  There's no added sugars or "natural" flavorings... no modifications there.   And not a half of a pint either.  And ice cream is not dairy.  I think the added sugars nix the nutritional value of the cream.  dammit.

Time to get my day going - hope you all have a good and successful weekend!

Still Here, Too!!!

LOVE the info. in your last three posts, Anne - thanks for sharing! I actually still stop here every day, and had read your posts before today, but I've somehow forgotten how to not over-load my day with ten times more items on my To Do list than I actually have time to do, and I literally haven't had a spare minute to comment.

My mother, sister and I started a "secret" family Facebook group comprised of the three of us on New Year's day, and we've been just trying to encourage each other to eat well.   My mother bought the Wheat Belly book (thanks to your recommendation here!), as well as The Paleo Diet book, which says many of the same things. My sister is counting calories religiously for the first time in her life, and wants to lose 50 pounds by July. And me, well, I'm still plodding along, and more than a little bent out of shape (pun intended) by the 7.5 pounds I gained between December 23rd and January 3rd!!! I added almost a pound a day in ten days, people. BURP.

The coconut oil is a MUST! I will re-stock myself now. I also added real butter back into my diet, and dumped out everything artificial or soy-processed or chemical-enhanced or full of high fructose corn syrup or preservatives, sugar, sodium, MSG, etc. My mantra now is "REAL FOOD ONLY." And damn if this isn't a "DUH" thing, ladies!!! 6.0 pounds gone in 11 days, just by ditching the garbage food. DUH. 

My spread at work today.  YUM.  And yes, the bread is Ezekiel.  :o)

Anne, how is the 4-Week No-Wheat Challenge going?  I'm finding the same thing; that it really isn't all that hard.  I have made a few new rules for myself:  I don't eat ANYTHING without reading the label first.  If it has MSG in it and more preservatives than I can pronounce, it's GONE!  (Bye-bye, Wyler's Chicken Broth granules!!!)  If it has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it, it's GONE!  (Bye-bye, fat-free Half and Half and Rice Krispies!)  If it has enough natural sugar in it to spike my blood sugar and therefore spike my insulin, it's gone!  (Bye-bye, orange juice!)  If it has ANY processed soy ingredients, it's gone!  (Bye-bye, Wishbone Salad Spritzer spray dressings!) If it has ANY whole grain or whole wheat ingredients, it's GONE!  (Bye-bye, bread, bagels, pasta, cereal, pretzels, chips, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc...........................!)  If it's fake butter, it's GONE!!!  (Bye-bye, my beloved "Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray!"

It's ALL GONE.  I am eating nothing but Real Food now.  That's how the 6.0 pounds just fell off.  I'm snacking ALL DAY on so many fresh veggies and fruits and hummus and rice crackers and brown rice and baked chicken and venison burgers and steamed fish and Ezekiel and sprouted-grain breads (WITH butter!!!) and oatmeal and yummy teas and ice water (and lots of other really yummy Real Food, but the list would take more time than I have at work...)....... that I don't have any room left in my stomach to feel hungry or deprived!!!  I highly recommend the "ADD REAL BUTTER back into your diet" advice.  I have avoided butter, in favor of the fake spray, since 1999.  And I've missed it since 1999!!!  And no, you can't go gobbling up stick after stick of butter, BUT - you can have 50 calories of butter on your bread, your toast, your sandwich, your steamed veggies, your oatmeal, your WHATEVER - and it's not going to make you fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Kristin is a happy girl.  
Can't wait to get some coconut oil!!!!!!!
Next step:  Working my workouts back into my insane life.  
Wish me luck, because I will NEED IT.......

EXACTLY!!!

Day 4

This just in:  Anne is still alive.

I'm on day four of my 4 week no wheat challenge, and it's really not all that bad.  In fact, I feel great.  I really feel for people with food allergies; gluten allergies esp.  It's in EVERYTHING and I'm pretty sure that I will not be 100% wheat free in these next four weeks... Hidden wheat (flour) is found in condiments and tomato sauces (as thickeners), along with shredded cheeses and spices just to name a few.  I may inadvertently digest some of that, but I don't think that'll kill me as I'm not intolerant.  I'm just trying to avoid it.

I am also really watching the refined sugars...  again, not much of a stretch as I really have cut way back since August 15th, but it is in products that I hadn't paid much attention to.  Like my coffee creamer.  That delicious creamy sweetness.  Probably not the best thing for me, so I switched to just plain cream, and limit myself to 12 oz of coffee in the a.m.  I think that my challenge will be changing the mindset and habits of my family.  They love bread and chips and ice cream; and of course they want me to come along for the ride.  I don't think that they deliberately set out to sabotage my goals.  Or do they??

Still hearing the crickets, but that's OK.  We all have to find our own way and what works for us.