Craptastic Carb-fest... uuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anne, NO WORRIES!!!  You and I traveled the same exact road on Thursday/Friday/Saturday.  I've gained back SIX pounds since THURSDAY!!!  And I had only dropped 10 since October 17th, which is when I started dextoxing the wheat from my system!  I've been on a rampant eating binge since dinner on Thursday.  I just ate ripple potato chips with Top the Taster dip and a can of Coke Classic for BREAKFAST.  Need I say more?  What could be more disgusting and unhealthy than that?!  Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

We had a wild game feed (venison and goose) at our house on Thursday, and then our actual "Thanksgiving" feast was on Friday at my Mom's.  SO MUCH FOOD IT WAS RIDICULOUS.  Turkey (drowning in gravy), stuffing (filled with hamburger and drowning in gravy), mashed potatoes (infused with butter AND sour cream and drowning in gravy), wild rice (with BACON mixed into it and drowning in gravy), squash from our garden (and swimming in butter and brown sugar), green bean casserole, pistachio-marshmallow salad, beer bread my sister baked (the ONLY thing I skipped...simply no room on my over-flowing plate...), jellied cranberries, pickles, olives, pecan AND apple pies with vanilla ice cream, and unlimited beverages - I somehow managed to only drink one Bartles & Jaymes Pomegranate-Raspberry wine cooler and ONE can of Coke Classic.  

I was up ALL NIGHT after this Friday meal, my stomach so stretched out and so bloated that I chowed SEVEN Tums (where did I find room in my screaming stomach for THOSE?!) during the night to combat the HORRIBLE heartburn and acid-reflux I was experiencing.  I vowed during that night that Saturday and Sunday would be perfect eating days, as the festivities were OVER, and I had ZERO desire to eat the leftover turkey/mashed potatoes/stuffing/wild rice/GRAVY that came home with us Friday night.

But what do you think I did instead?!  Yep - I've experienced the same exact thing.  INSANE cravings for bread/cereal/crackers/sugar/salt.  I've been snarfing leftover Chex mix, all of our supposed deer-hunting snacks (Snickers bars, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, granola bars, protein bars, packets of trail mix), bowls of Golden Grahams and Honey Nut Cheerios, corn chips and salsa, potato chips and Top the Tater dip, bowls of ice cream with chocolate chips AND Hershey's syrup, entire boxes of movie candy, and OMG, the COKE CLASSIC - I'll inhaled an entire 12-pack since Thursday!!!

The remorse is devastating.  The guilt, the shame, the knowledge that now I have to literally start over.  I'm almost back where I was on October 17th.  I feel disgusting.  I look worse.  The ONLY advantage I have now over my initial starting point is the fact that I know what to do.  I know how to get back on-track, and I just have to do it.  I CANNOT wait until tomorrow to start - I have to do it NOW.  That's what I was going to do.  I had planned to eat whatever I felt like all day today, in retaliation for what the scale said this morning.  I didn't care if it would mean adding another pound or two to the total gained.  What did I really care?  How much worse is 8 pounds than 6, REALLY?

Then I read your post today.  I wasn't going to check this blog today, because I assumed nobody would post until after the holiday weekend.  But I'm so glad I checked it!  Your post is what has inspired me today.  So I thank you.  Motivation comes from the most unlikely places sometimes, yes?  I'm here to tell you, you're still doing GREAT.  You have had great success already, and you have the information and the ability to plug that knowledge back in now and keep fighting the good fight.  I refuse to let myself be any more bummed-out by the past four days than I already am now.  Earlier this week, when the festivities were still looming, I PROMISED myself that I wouldn't let this happen.  I don't want to be one of those people who show up for the big family holiday feast with a baggie of celery sticks and a water bottle and tell everyone that I can't join in.  That's BULLSHIT, yes?  We have to LIVE.  And no, that doesn't mean that we have to BINGE, but it does mean that if we allow ourselves to join in with family and friends and enjoy foods and beverages that we don't normally indulge in, it does NOT mean that we're failures - or that we're WEAK.  IT DOES NOT.  What it means is that we're HUMAN BEINGS.  Food isn't just sustenance.  Eating is a social activity for humans.  It's togetherness, it's enjoying life, it's sharing favorite things, it's revelry.  It's LIFE.  (Jeez, I think my carb-addled brain is falling into too-deep territory here...LOL!)

What we need to do now is NOT "figure out where we lost our self-control," or "figure out where we went wrong."  We didn't.  We ate a few foods that were bad for us, which snowballed into eating a few more bad foods for a few more days.  That is ALL we did.  We didn't do any lasting, permanent damage to our weight - OR to our self-esteem or our motivation or our ability to lose the pounds again.  We only do lasting damage if we can't figure out how to put the brakes on the speeding bullet-train now!

When I started to read your post, I had just finished my first can of Coke this morning.  I was just about to go run to the fridge for a second one.  Instead, I ran and made myself a cup of tea - thanks to you.  I had also just eaten a pile of ripple potato chips slathered in Top the Tater dip.  After reading your post, I ran downstairs and handed the bowl of chips to my toddler - who was very happy to get chips for breakfast along with her Greek yogurt - and I quickly thought, "What am I DOING?!"  I rarely give the kids greasy, salty chips.  This bag was leftover from sometime in September, LOL!  So I let her eat a couple, grabbed the bag back, and gave her a dish of rice cakes and snap peas instead.  She loved that even more!  

I'm back on-track now.  The rest of today will be a perfect food-choice day, despite my shaky beginning.  So many times, I eat horribly ALL DAY, simply because the day started out badly.  Changing this pattern is a huge challenge for me, and one that I've dealt with my entire life.  I so often think, "Well, I've already blown it today - what difference will it really make if I just eat whatever I want today, and start over being good TOMORROW?"

NO!!!!!!!  It DOES matter!  Every meal matters.  Every food choice matters.  Holiday revelry and family gatherings aside, every time we choose good food over unhealthy food, it matters - and that one little choice inches us closer and closer to our final goals that much faster.  The process is such a s-l-o-w one already.  Why would I want to slow myself down even further by WASTING entire days?!  I will not do it!

Keep it up, Anne...and the rest of the ladies checking in here!  You can ALL do this!!!!!!!

Photographic proof of my Thanksgiving sins

Anne went on a carb binge....

Anne-xiety

This little monster is back with a vengeance.  EF'ing sugar and over-processed wheat.  Not kidding, I had a major meltdown this morning...OK, and afternoon, too that had me sobbing into a tissue wondering "What the hell??"  I was this close to calling my therapist.

I went in for a visit with Lisa instead, then did a kettle bell workout with Dr. Pat and THEN came home and vented to Brian.  I am OK. 

Thanksgiving day was a glorious time...we spent the day at Wayne and Stacy's (my bro) and really had a nice time being together.  I was concerned about dinner and was a little nervous about coming face to face with the big spread.  My sis-in-law can COOK.  OMG she's such a darn good cook!!  It's not right!!  So of course this was no small challenge of self control.

BUT then I convinced myself that the 16ish pounds that I've worked so hard to lose would not be regained after one meal and that I should just enjoy myself.  I was going to make love to that stuffing!!  (not in front of the kids of course...)

I had no idea the full Monty effect that ONE carb loaded meal would have on me.  It took it's toll.  Friday, I was craving the worst of the worst foods.  I would have killed for a Pepsi with a Mountain Dew chaser and a side of Hershey's Kisses.   I almost went to McD's and asked them for just a cup of deep fryer fat.  I am NOT kidding.  FOOD was all I could think about!! 

Lisa texted all of her slimmers this morning something about how crappy food just sets up cravings for more.  At that moment I realized how right that is and I was scared shitless.  I did NOT like that feeling of getting off track and it spiraled into all kinds of crazy thoughts and depression and guilt.  I felt like I was shrinking.  SO not happy with myself.  Not happy with anything around me, really.  The guilt brings on resentment.  Anger.  Frustration.  Then BAM!  Uncontrollable tears.  How could I have been so happy and clear in thought for so long then just like that *snap* be confused and sad. 

hmmm....I am back on my regular plan.  Back to my 3-4 qts of water a day.  No bad carbs and starches.  Good meat.  Good veggies.  Fresh fruit.  Look in my fridge and you'd be so proud.  It looks like a produce dream.  I'm gonna detox this awful crap outta my body. 

It's not just the food that brought me crazy down, but I do believe that it was the major factor.  You know how the holidays are not always so easy to handle and there is just enough stress in our lives to make it that much more unbearable.   I think that the stuffing and white bread that I had an affair with on Thursday afternoon was what set off the avalanche that buried me this morning.

It's not an easy journey sometimes.

Happy GOBBLE GOBBLE!

OK ladies, so let's face it - today is the day we've (I've?) been dreading since having a little new success with the weight-loss.  Today will have to be one of GINORMOUS self-control and diligence.  There is food literally EVERYWHERE.  

It's also deer-hunting season, so our kitchen counter is piled high with tree-stand snacks - packets of trail mix (over 300 calories!), nasty-tasting gluten-free (sorry, but they're AWFUL...) protein bars (250 calories!), icky gluten-free cereal bars (over 200 calories!), and a fridge full of Hershey bars, mini-Snickers bars, and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.  These things have always made up part of our "hunting foods."  I was out in my deer stand on Saturday and Tuesday this week, and I joined a couple of the mini-Snickers and Reeses with a tuna sandwich, a beef jerky, and a measured-serving of raw almonds and peanuts.  At least I made an attempt, right?  I managed to end the week a pound down from last week, so I'm not really complaining.

Today is also the first of TWO big Food Events in our family.  Tonight two grandmas and the grandpa come over to our house for marinated venison and goose, boiled potatoes, steamed broccoli, baking powder biscuits, and key lime pie.  And wine.  Of course.

Tomorrow is the Bigger Meal, at my Mom's house:  A huge turkey, stuffing, wild rice, mashed potatoes, baked squash, some salad my sister discovered made with popcorn and BACON (huh?!), pistachio-marshmallow salad, dinner rolls, pickles, olives, a huge roaster pan of my homemade Chex mix, and THREE pies - pumpkin, apple, AND pecan.  Beverages galore, too - lots of Coke Classic, Dr. Pepper, wine, beer, milk, coffee, urgh.  Not a glass of ice water in sight, LOL!

I plan to have a little bit of everything.  I CAN'T go insane.  It has literally taken me SEVEN MONTHS to lose and keep off TEN measly pounds!  I've been fighting the same ten pounds since the last week in APRIL.  I can't blow it now by gaining it all back in one decadent, evil weekend!!!!!!!

A little Thanksgiving humor for you, stolen from Facebook:

HOW TO COOK A TURKEY: First, buy the turkey and a bottle of whiskey. Pour yourself a glass of whiskey and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more whiskeys of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 whisks of drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of whiskey. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey! yur vari walcum!! HAPPY SOMETHINGMAS :)

 HAPPY TURKEY DAY, ladies!  Hope you're all doing great and can't wait to hear about your holiday feasts!    :o) 

Bella, the day after Thanksgiving.  Hahahahahahahahaha

 

Holding Steady...

Hi Ladies, Kristin here...  I'm still holding steady at about 7 pounds down since October 17th, so what that means to me is that I have not yo-yo'd at all in almost a month!  This is a huge accomplishment for me.  I credit my new way of eating, 100%.  I'm following the Four Basic Diet Rules RELIGIOUSLY, every day.  I don't eat unless I'm TRULY hungry.  That means, at the first sign of hunger, I don't stuff my face - I drink some ice water, a cup of tea, or I simply wait a little while before feeding myself.  When I do this, a LOT of times, what I thought was hunger simply vanishes.

I now always eat consciously, never while driving, never in front of the computer or t.v., never while multi-tasking.  I make every meal and snack an event all its own.  I SIT DOWN, take a little time with meal prep and presentation, and eat as slowly as I can - enjoying every bite.  I stick to single servings of single foods, and I've all but eliminated huge sit-down dinners with three courses, bread, and dessert.  They're not even missed!

I eat whatever I want - not what I "think I should" - but within reason.  I don't pig out anymore.  I am limiting my sugar drastically, and not wolfing entire boxes of Lifesaver Gummies or Good & Plenty when we watch a movie at home anymore.  I'm not snarfing ice cream with Hershey syrup every time my husband eats a little bowl.  I'm not eating entire bags of buttery microwave popcorn.  I'm not sucking down glasses of sangria whenever I feel like it.  I'm not eating second helpings of ANYTHING, and I'm trying my absolute hardest to AVOID ALL WHEAT.  I bought the "Wheat Belly Diet" book for my Nook.  I haven't had time to start reading it yet - but I will ASAP.  When I don't eat ANY wheat for a couple days straight, not only do I drop pounds, EVERY time, but I also end up having the most ridiculous energy I've ever experienced.  Wheat CLOGS ME UP and slows me down!!!


And finally, I am putting down my fork as soon as I start feeling a little bit full.  I am not clearing my plate every time I eat - I save my leftovers, and eat them for a snack later.  I've NEVER done this!  Now, when I'm full, I STOP - get up - and walk away.  This is probably the most important new "tactic" I have.  I feel empowered that I am able to do this now!  I am re-training myself, one day at a time.  I eat completely differently than I did just one month ago.


My biggest challenge continues to be restaurants.  SO many of them just don't have anything on them that fits into my new plan!  I mean, come on - I can only eat so many side salads and cups of vegetable soup!  I have found a few places that are "me" friendly, though, and I will continue to go there when possible!


I'll share a couple of my new faves, too:

SO yummy!!!

This grew on me after a couple times eating it!  Now I'm addicted!

Don't laugh - these are sweet, rice, and SO tasty!  And FOUR of them only contain 35 calories!

New fave flavor - key lime!  Tastes like lime sherbet!!!

Keep fighting the good fight, ladies!
 

More things to add to "Anne's Faves"

Another weigh-in and measurement day!  I have lost 23 inches to date!  That's a good way to start a Monday.   I've been MIA, but for good reason.  I went up north the weekend of November 4th, and brought my momma home with me for the week!  We were so good, it's not even funny.  We ate GOOD food and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.  Who'da thunk...  sliced goat cheese (that was like the consistancy of cream cheese) on top of slices of heirloom tomatoes and sea salt was beyond yummy.  We thought we were a couple of foodies.

Let's dish...  some more new faves:

Ezekiel bread.  What?  How have I NOT known about this stuff??  (I suppose I should have read the bible)  Whole wheat bread at it's finest...  Bread, that's good for you???  

These crackers are NUMMY - and only eaten in moderation.  Again, if I'm gonna have a crunchy carb I'm going to make it a quasi-healthy choice.

100% shea butter.  Not for eating, but for slathering on my skin.   Total. Awesomeness.

I'm going to try to write a testamonial for Lisa to put in her special "Book of Slimmers" but I didn't want to just write the same thang that everyone else has already said.  Today at our meeting, I had a light bulb moment.  I'm going to testify that I have made the best investment of my entire life by just investing in myself.  What could be more important than that??   I keep realizing what it means to "take care".    I'm lovin' it!

WHEAT = THE DEVIL!

OK folks, Kristin here.  Still doing my best to keep any wheat at least 10 feet from my mouth at all times, and OMG is it ever hard!!!  I am doing OK.  I have moments of weakness.  Like last night, when I inhaled not one, but TWO huge bowls of Fruity Pebbles with milk; leftovers from a sleepover my daughter had Saturday night.

But most of the time, the sacrifice is ABSOLUTELY worth it, and not impossible to do.  My sister mentioned my "new way" to a friend of hers the other day, and that friend has been gluten-free for 10 years - and she emailed my sis a long list of GF products she loves!  VERY helpful to me, so I'm sharing here.  It's tough to know where to start, yes?

------------------------------------------

 

Kristin, I hear you've gone GF. Thought I'd pass on some tips to you.

Glorious GF items I cannot live without:

Pamela's Pancake Mix (not only can you make mmmm pancakes, but also muffins, cakes, scones, cookies!)

 

Tinkyada pasta (in a variety of shapes, plus lasagna). I think Tinkyada is the best, but Mrs. Leepers and Lundbergs isn't bad. Also, there's a place in Hayward (I think) that makes their own GF goods under the name of Grandma Ferdon.

 

The best GF bread is Udi's bread. It's pricey. Buy if for yourself (it's worth it) and give the rest of your fam regular bread. It's best toasted.

 

Pamela's brownie and cake mix. Ridiculously delicious!

 

Vicolo cornmeal pizza crusts (in the frozen food section at the Coop), I think, are very good. 

 

The Coop also sells some GF desserty items. Their flourless chocolate cake is to die for. They also have muffins & other baked goods.

Diamond rice crackers - crispy and great with cheese or dipped in hummus.

There's a variety of other snacks that are GF too. They are really expensive. I usually only buy the when they are on sale. There's some yummy lentil crackers in different flavors too.

 

Bob's Red Mill Hot cereal - if'n yer missin' oatmeal.

 

You can also grind brown rice (in coffee or spice grinder) and make hot cereal with that.

 

eNergy (or something like that) makes bread. It's gawdawful! Don't buy it, however their pretzels (regular and sesame) are quite good. Glutino makes good pretzels too - but be prepared to pay!

 

If you haven't heard of the Gluten-free Goddess, you'll wanna check it out. Good luck! Have fun! It's a whole new world. You're going to discover things you would have never discovered otherwise.

http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/

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Hope this is helpful, ladies!  Anyone still out there?  How about Sarah?  How are things?  See you at Book Club Thursday?    :o)

I also should mention that I did post a l-o-n-g, ranting post on my own blog about both the Wheat Belly stuff and also about the Four Basic Rules of Dieting, which is what I am following now and it's still TOTALLY working for me.  I haven't gained anything back yet - and I'm SO motivated, and I have SO MUCH @#$%* energy with little to no wheat clogging up my system - that I know I'm going to hit my final goal by Christmas!!!

Anyone who wants to read my long rant can find it at:  http://otherblatantlies.blogspot.com/

Soldier on, ladies!  Anxious to hear how you're all doing!  How many followers do we have?

Some of Anne's new faves...

Hey y'all!  I got measured today at the weight loss center and guess what??  To date, I have lost 19.5 inches of ffffffffaaaaaattttttt.  I am one happy camper.

Thought I'd share some goodies with you:

My new favorite veggie...

That's right - kale.  All that green leafy goodness.  It's in the same family with broccoli and cabbage etc...  I like it steamed, roasted, and sauteed in a little evoo and garlic.  Flippin awesomeness!  Try it, you'll like it!

Favorite new drink:

Kombucha.  Google it.   It's a fermented tea.  Wow, what a zip!  Find it in the refrigerated organic section in the grocery store.  Nummy!  Kristin - seriously check this stuff out!  Or perhaps you already know about it and can teach me more!

Fave new workout:

Kettlebells.  Whoa, Dude.  It's weights and cardio all in one.  ** If done properly!!  Highly recommend being trained by someone who is really passionate and experienced with this technique.**

Snack food:

Roasted pecans.  I did some myself at home on Sunday during the Viking game...  They turned out soooooo darn good.    Super easy! 

I had some of Corine's Halloween candy yesterday...  whoa, instant headache followed by a massive sugar rush.  I felt horrible!  Not having any trouble avoiding that bowl of treats!

Have a great week!!